I’m a sucker for juicy gossip, so when I saw that this book was all about the author exposing the problems she deals with from the perspective of both therapist AND client, I simply had to read it.
The book follows the author, Lori Gottlieb, as she navigates a personally tumultuous year having to manage a midlife crisis while also keeping it together for her patients. Her patients range from a wide variety of backgrounds, from a brash Hollywood exec to a mopey elderly widow.
Things I liked:
- She is a great writer. The book is never dry to read and the author’s personality/voice comes across easily.
- The diversity of her highlighted patients keeps the book interesting. I liked being able to peek into lives I’ll never be able to experience. Each of her patients had an arc that I genuinely cared to see through to the end.
- She does a good job of breaking down key psychological concepts that she either observes or applies as part of her job. I enjoyed this aspect a lot because even though some of the concepts were somewhat intuitive, I liked learning about the science/structure behind it.
Things I disliked:
- Some of her mic drop, revelation moments are a bit cliche. Stuff like “I assure him that he’s not breaking down, he’s breaking open” makes me wanna roll my eyes.
- The author spends a lot of time praising her therapist, but from the reader’s perspective, it was hard to understand why he was so special and unlike other therapists. I feel like she could’ve done better personifying her therapist more because he seemed very 1 dimensional to me. HIs motivations and psyche were conveyed thoroughly
Overall, I enjoyed this book and would recommend it to others. Clocking in at just over 400 pages, it makes for a relatively short read.
Reflections On Therapy
Before reading the book, I wouldn’t have necessarily considered myself a disbeliever in therapy, but rather hesitant, if not ignorant of the practice. After finishing the book, I more clearly see the merits in going through therapy, but I wonder if modern therapy is just a byproduct from the breakdown of our traditional social circles. The value that people are seeking in therapists today, would’ve been provided by a village elder, a priest, or even a close friend. Now, most people don’t have access to those resources socially, either because they don’t have strong roots in their community or simply that others don’t have time for them.
I think the author would argue that having a professionally licensed stranger, who is able to maintain objectivity, would serve as a better emotional guide. In some ways, I can understand that. People who know you, may be biased against you, or just be unable to help you in fear of jeopardizing the relationship. At the same time, humans don’t exist in a vacuum. I think it takes a lot of context to truly understand someone, and that building that context takes time. Unless someone is willing to dedicate that time over dozens of sessions, I am skeptical that therapy will be useful.
Ultimately, we should all strive to be better friends, lovers, and family members to those close to us. It’s easier than ever to isolate yourself from your community, so much so that we feel the regrettable need to pay people to listen to our problems.